If porn hasn’t invaded your family, you’re one of the very fortunate few.
For all the other battle-weary moms and dads, tired of combatting the online onslaught of hyper-sexualized content, fellow mom of four and author Greta Eskridge offers you a very compassionate shoulder to lean on in her new book, It’s Time To Talk To Your Kids About Porn.
You might even shed a few tears on her “shoulder” like I did.
She sits down with you – like a good friend – and helps you clearly map out all the difficult conversations related to porn that you need to have with your children.
Greta then gives you a strategy for having these conversations that you may be missing (like I was).
Table of Contents
- Greta Eskridge’s Personal Journey: From Discovery to Advocacy
- Key Topics Addressed in the Book – A Peek Inside
- Why Parents Must Have a Porn Plan
- How To Create An Effective Porn Plan
- How To Become “The Talk About Everything” Mom (or Dad)
- From One Mom to Another – Let’s Stand Together Against Porn
- Heading 7
- Conclusion
Greta Eskridge’s Personal Journey: From Discovery to Advocacy
Greta’s story is painfully familiar to us at Ever Accountable. Porn invaded her home, and she didn’t know it until she was mother to three young children.
Some call this “The Young Wives Club” – an exponentially growing number of younger women who marry and then find out their husbands are secretly using porn.
Thankfully, Greta’s story doesn’t end with the hurt and devastation. She and her husband rebuilt their relationship as he did the hard work to gain freedom from porn.
But Greta says she was determined that her children would have a different story free from this type of pain and heartache.
She and her husband created a battle strategy for a porn-free childhood.
What’s so impressive? They haven’t alienated their children on this journey to adulthood.
This is the book I wish someone had handed me as a young mom.
Although Greta’s faith is woven throughout the book, her practical wisdom and gentleness make it worth the read — even if you’re not a person of faith.
Key Topics Addressed in the Book - A Peek Inside
So, whether you’re parenting toddlers or young adults, Greta provides guided practical, age-appropriate scripts and data on these hot topics (and more):
- How to have the sex talk in age-appropriate ways
- Ways to safely introduce tech in age-appropriate ways
- How to talk about porn and masturbation
- What to say when your child accidentally sees porn
- What is sexting and how to handle unwanted “sexts”
- How to avoid or prepare a child for sextortion (a serious cause of suicide that has an FBI warning currently)
- How to talk to your teen caught watching porn
- Why erotic literature is a gateway to porn (and where your child might find this)
- What is anime porn and why it is harmful
- How to spot online grooming
At the end of her book she provides a topical index to current “hot topics” – super easy for a busy parent to grab and find answers.
Why Parents Must Have A Porn Plan
If you’re the parent who currently believes that your five year old will never see porn – or that your kid or teen hasn’t already been exposed to pornography, you also need this book right now.
While this might feel like a scare tactic, it’s meant to be a wake-up call.
Statistically speaking, Greta notes that there’s a high likelihood that your young child could be exposed to porn on a friend or relative’s unprotected device.
Based on the conversations I have with our Ever Accountable community plus many news sources, Greta is absolutely right.
Just a few days ago someone told me they were first exposed to porn at age 7!!
And that happened two decades ago…
Rachael, Cole, and Riley are just a few in our community who share how porn secretly hooked them as a child.
Today porn is way too easy to access on any unprotected device anywhere, and little children as young as 4 are seeing porn.
We live in a deeply sexualized culture. This is WAR for concerned parents!
But how can a mom or dad effectively fight back?
Just like any responsible parent, you’ve probably talked to your children of all ages about your fire escape plan or other emergency plans.
You absolutely need a porn plan – even if you’re cradling your first baby in your arms.
How To Create an Effective Porn Plan
I’ll give you just a few of Greta’s key pointers. You’ll have to read the book for the “full details”.
First things first. How soon should you talk to your child about porn?
As Greta says, a five year-old should never, ever have to be talked to about porn, but we live in an upside down world.
In order to help your child escape or immediately report possible sexual abuse, a porn plan becomes a key component of your child’s body safety plan.
Begin with the sex talk and have age appropriate conversations.
Greta admits that she grew up in a sweet bubble of innocence never really understanding much about sex.
She plainly acknowledges the painful ways that backfired in her marriage. That’s why she was determined to do things differently with her own children.
In fact, her methods erase the shame and secrecy so many of us experience around the topic of sex.
Here are a few of her many carefully thought-out tips for parents.
- Start young by teaching body safety tips and correct anatomical terms
- Keep conversations natural and simple.
- Build on these conversations as your child grows older
The more and earlier you talk, the less uncomfortable these conversations become!
Greta’s conversation guides are gently respectful, based on child development, and easy to use.
Each script displays a heart of kindness and compassion for both parent and child.
The scripts alone are worth the price of the book.
Don’t let your child’s discomfort keep you from having important conversations about sex, porn, sexting, and more.
“If they’re older and roll their eyes and say, Mom – then they know exactly what you’re talking about. Then you carry on with the conversation. There’s a strong possibility that your kid is going to feel really uncomfortable talking about this with you. That is okay.
You can even acknowledge their discomfort and be compassionate.
But don’t let their discomfort keep you from having this conversation.
Let them know this is too important to ignore…. Don’t dance around the issue.” ~ Greta Eskridge
But before you can have important conversations with teens especially, you need to lay some important groundwork.
First, create a delicious, lively, appetizing environment of safety and respect for your children. Be the fun house with the best food where friends are always welcome, Greta says.
That’s just the start.
How To Become “The Talk About Everything” Mom (or Dad)
When Greta described herself as “The Talk About Everything Mom”, I laughed out loud.
I have very, very gradually become that mom. My daughter is out of her teens now, and we’re still having some “wild” conversations I never expected. I’m super grateful for this – a hard-won parenting win. I second her steps whole-heartedly!
Build connection opportunities into your daily and weekly routines.
If you need ideas on how to connect authentically with your child before and during the teenage years, this book is a goldmine.
As a reader, I was delighted when Greta shared that her teenagers are the most favorite people she enjoys hanging out with.
She describes the process of creating these connections and heart-bonds through the years as “adventuring together.”
Leaving screens behind, she and her children enjoy weekly adventures – often to places with no internet connection.
And no topic is ever off the table for discussion even if it leads to embarrassing, humorous moments like her five-year-old yelling loudly at the zoo about the size of the elephant’s penis.
Create a safe community of friends, set online boundaries, and find trusted adults who support online safety.
Above all, your child should feel safe talking to you about anything. As Greta says about online boundary setting, don’t come across as your child’s parole officer. Instead, invite them to be partners for wholesome living.
You also need to intentionally find “your people’ who will stand shoulder to shoulder with you in support of a safe, healthy childhood. Wholehearted living thrives in a supportive community with lots of real-life connections with like-minded people.
Community building takes time and effort.
So what if you’ve already screwed up digital parenting in a big way?
If you’re in the middle of the digital warzone with your tweens or teens right now — drop everything and buy this book. Your perspective will be challenged.
Even if your kids are currently addicted to screens or social media, there is hope. The war for your child’s mental health and recovery may not be easy, but they are infinitely worth the fight!
You’ll need this book, some online safety boundaries like accountability software, and quite possibly a family therapist who shares your values.
From One Mom to Another – Let’s Stand Together Against Porn
As the mom of a Gen Z child, I wish I’d had this book a decade ago.
I navigated brand new social platforms at the same time as my daughter was coming of age.
I know what it’s like to see my daughter and friends in her small sheltered homeschool community gathered around a friend’s screen laughing loudly – and feel a deep pit in my stomach upon discovering later this friend shared many inappropriate things online.
Our community was warm, welcoming, and mostly safe – but the ONE child who had unlimited access to the Internet and screens was in my daughter’s circle of friends.
This was a wildcard that I was completely unprepared for, so I didn’t prepare her. My digital parenting skills were subpar.
Little did I know I would have an opportunity to redeem this by encouraging other parents publicly online not to make the same mistakes I did. (I’m so grateful to be sharing this book review with you.)
Even if you’re not a person of faith, Greta’s wisdom and compassion will welcome and support you in creating a safe, wholesome environment for your child.
Grab a copy of It’s Time To Talk To Your Kids About Porn today.
No child should be exposed to porn and suffer alone in fear for years. Let’s help future generations avoid many more hurtful childhood stories of being hooked on porn.
~ With love,
Julia
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